I was supposed to post this on her birthday, buuut I didn’t. Happy Belated Birthday to my wonderful sister. She’s gettin’ old.
That little asian boy may or may not be me.
Anyways, I thought I’d take the time to write out how I feel about this human, on this belated, momentous occasion.
Where to begin… yes, my sister is… one of a kind. She’s turns 16 every year as far as I’m concerned. However, she has the wisdom of one far beyond her years, despite her youthful disposition. She… collects dolls as a hobby, and she is quite hardcore about it. That alone should tell you that she’s quite eccentric, and she’s where I get most of my weirdness from - you can thank her for that stuff, heheh. (As in, she’ll answer the phone sometimes with, “Asian sex hotline, how may I help you?”)
So yes, this girl is one of the most caring individuals I’ve ever come to know. You will not find a better sister than her, I guarantee it. When she meets my friends, she doesn’t act awkwardly stand-offish. She greets them with a bright smile, asks questions, acts genuinely interested in what they have to say, and if they happen to be hot, she hits on them as well. There’s a sincerity about her off the bat as she’s not afraid to act her peculiar self around new people. I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Now, onto some mushy ushy gooey love stuff.
I owe this bitch too much. We have an eleven year age difference… and just how she looked after me when I was younger was… mind boggling. I don’t think I’ll ever find a way to thank her for all she’s done for me in this life time.
When we were pretty much poor, living in a one bedroom apartment back in Toronto, I vaguely remember an early morning, being half asleep… I remember waking up in her arms. She was dressed in her high school uniform, and was carrying me up another floor in our apartment to this old lady who was supposed to watch me for the day. She’d risen extra early just to haul my ass someplace.
I… remember falling asleep in her lap as she cleaned out my ears.
I remember her tucking me in, telling me to make sure I kept my feet under the sheets so the vampires wouldn’t get me (I remember asking her to stay by me ‘till I fell asleep, and I remember her doing so).
I remember doing some hand game with her that ended with something like “you’re my best friend in the whooole wiiiide woooorld”.
I remember her dragging my little elementary school ass around town with her and her older friends, without complaint.
I remember her attempting to pull me out of some scary, heated arguments between my parents.
I remember her somehow scrounging up the money to buy me just anything fun that she could for my birthday or for Christmas when we were still living in that box of an apartment.
I remember watching her in awe, watching her sing onstage, being so damn proud, because that talented hoe onstage was my sister, and she was the best singer in the whoooole wiiiide woooorld.
My heart hurts when I think about the sacrifices she’s made. She never had the freedom a teenager should - thanks in part to my parents, but also in part to me. Because we were in such a shitty financial position, and my parents were shitting themselves trying to make things work, I was basically thrown into her care most of the time. And she never complained about that.
She cooked for us, brought me to school and picked me up from school when no one else could, picked me up from daycare, cleaned my ears, acted as my playmate, wiped the tears and vomit from my face when I was sick, washed me, just… cared for me. I will never, ever forget that, young as I was.
The sacrifices she made extend beyond taking care of just me as well… she slept next to the fucking kitchen out next to the main room in our box sized apartment. She was a teenage girl without a room, without a door for herself for Christ’s sake, and I’ll never know how she emerged
relatively sane, after those few years.
Today, she’s doing rather well for herself. She’s got someone that cares for her, she’s got her own swankified townhouse, and she lives quite comfortably. She’s happy, and that makes me happy.
She continues to encourage me, tells me to always be good, but to stand up for myself to my parents, and to anyone that thinks they have the right to tell me what to do. She tells me to follow my heart and chase after what I want. And while these words have been spoken to me so many times, hearing them come from her is the only way they really reach me.
To this day, she continues to spoil me - she bought me this Macbook Pro, my PS3, and my DS Phat. To this day, she is still not stingy when it comes to me.
My mother was talking to her the other day, talking about money problems and how expensive my tuition is… she said if no one else could pay for it, she would.
I wanted to cry.
Perhaps it’s selfish to say so, but I miss having her to myself. Her partner is around 95% of the time we visit, and they’re pretty much attached at the hip. Seldom do I get to spend time with my sister sans other company. And yeah, she and I are close and all, but we never really talk about serious things like this while in each others company, ‘cuz we’re not together that often anyway. In the end though, while I know I mean a lot to her, I also know she’d choose her partner over me any day.
Eh. Oh well. I suppose I’ll take what I can get.
Whatever the case, despite her stubbornness and cluelessness about certain things, she truly is one of the strongest people I know.
She has the best heart of anyone I know.
If I could choose one person to die for, it would be her.
These are words I’ll never tell her, because, again, we’re not mushy gushy gooey like that.
Ahem, anyways, Happy Belated Birthday to my favorite person on earth.
I love you and miss you ate, and I hope you never read this.